Fred the Freaky Barber
by Anime Punk
Summary: sadly this is the result of watching 8 straight hours of Courage the Cowardly Dog and then finishing the day with 5 hours of Gundam Wing... And the extra sugar didn't help either... *sigh*


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Disclaimer: *sigh* No, I don't own Gundam Wing, but I like to pretend that I do...  
And yes, sadly this is the result of watching 8 straight hours of Courage the Cowardly Dog and then finishing the day with 5 hours of Gundam Wing ;-)  
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FRED THE FREAKY BARBER  
*Told from his point of view*  
  
As I approached that large white house,  
I knew the one who lived there  
And I thought I might be naughty  
With that luxurious long, brown braid of hair.  
  
As my bus drives to the house,  
I sit there, quiet as a mouse  
And think about how I to he   
Might be ever so... Naughty  
  
As I stand there at the door  
A young man answers, haughty  
"What do you want?"  
And I just smile, thinking of how I can be so...naughty  
  
As I enter the large, white home  
A my digital watch strikes out the tone  
I see the one I've come to see,  
Which makes me feel...quite naughty.  
  
His eyes are blue,  
His hair...it's brown  
And tied up in a braid  
I just smile my delightful smile  
And continue with my charade  
-----  
"Some guy's here to see you, Maxwell," Wufei says without looking at the braided boy and walks upstairs.  
"Uh...hi...," Duo murmers, confused.  
The weird man smiles crookedly. "Hello. Might you show me to your washroom?"  
Washroom? How old-fashioned was this guy? "Uh, sure." Duo motioned for the man to follow him upstairs into the bathroom.  
-----  
A delightful boy such as he  
Tempts me to be quite naughty.  
-----  
"Here it is," the braided boy waves his hand to the bathroom.  
In his eerie voice, Fred asks, "Where might you keep the...uh... towels, dear boy?"  
Duo enters bathroom and points. "Right there. Hey, are you OK? You seem kinda-"  
But the pilot of the Deathscythe is cut off when the door closes and somehow locks them both in. Duo tries to struggle to get it opened  
-----  
I stare at him, he looks at me  
And I feel ever so... naughty.   
  
His long brown hair is silky soft  
Way down, past his waist  
I sit and think there to myself, "My, he has good taste."  
  
It reminds me of my dear aunt's dog  
Courage, his name was  
With big brown dots and covered in pink fuzz  
As a matter of fact, they made me feel quite... naughty  
-----  
Fred pulls out giant electric razor from hammar space and smiles crookedly.  
Duo turns blue and sweatdrops. He gulps hard. "Woah, man, take it easy...careful with that thing! You could seriously shave someone with that!" And he laughs nervously.   
There's freaky music playing in backround. Freaky barber music. It's freaky.   
Wufei knocks irritably on the bathroom door. "MAXWELL!" he yells. "What are you doing in there?!?"  
Duo's pressed as far into the door as he can get, trying to get it to unlock. "WU-MAN! HELP! THERE'S A FREAKY BARBER IN HERE! HE'S GONNA SHAVE OFF MY BRAID! FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY! HELP!!!"  
Wufei smiles and walks away.  
-----  
His braid untied: or so I tried  
But oh well. What the heck.  
All the better to be...naughty.  
-----  
Fred grabs Duo by his minister's collar.  
The braided boy looks at Fred's wristband: "Home for Freaky Barbers call 555-1234". He pulls a cellphone out of hammarspace and dials qucikly.  
Fredd smiles his crooked smile. "I am soo naughty."  
Just as he's about to shave off pride-and-joy, two big guys barge through the door, trampling it to the ground. They grab each of Fred's arms and drag him off. They put him in a padded van and drag him off the the happy home (Ho ho hee hee to the funny farm; where life is sweet and I'll be happy to see all those nice young men... Gomen! I was in the mood ^_^;).  
Duo sighes and strokes his braid with relief that it's still attatched.   
-----  
Farewell, dear boy, I'll miss you so  
Your braid done neatly in a row  
Until next time, to put it in rhyme  
Goodbye, little Shinigami  
With love, forever daughty, Fred 


End file.
